virtualhugsandiloveyous.

Oh, forget that never-ending weekend chorinicle.
I'm more excited about the here and now. :)
Or, the here and a few minutes ago.
Haha. :)
I feel so happy and light. :) Because...I just opened my emails!
I like this. Receiving stuff firsthand. Because you get to read things the Sun doesn't publish and be one of the first to see Father Anthony looking so cute. X)
Which reminds me I'm supposed to be spending a lot more time with my dear website. =.="
Joshua Henggg. :"S Come back! Or email me every thing you told me in the website tutorial that night. Because I've completely forgotten how to organize the gallery after three months.
Well, I'll get there. :) Nobody can turn my U-shaped smile upside down!

Because I've accomplished:
a) sitting in a car driven by Augustine Ow! :) I'll always wanted to do that. Hahahaha. So random. I've just always thought it would be so cool to be driven around by him, because Augustine just looks so cool driving. Hahaha.

b) an Academy-award winning performance of a little Sunday-school girl! My Oscar please, Marc Philip. Haha. :) I wish. But credits to Jacqueline Yap and Crystal for the totally little-girl outfit. :)

c) understanding something in math Chee Chyuan didn't know. Hahaha. Wait, let me bask in this moment. X)... Okay, done. XD Induction and deduction. See, it pays to listen to Pn. Azmah for 5 minutes. Which is as much as I get from every one-hour lesson. Aiks. Bye, pebel marks. Haha.

d) finding TWO (Yes two, I'm so proud of our country! And myself.) colleges in Malaysia that offer courses in the Performing Arts. :) I used to think I would never consider getting into theatre and stagework full-time, since everyone says studying Performing Arts is like walking out onto a death plank in Malaysia. But taking into consideration what kind of subjects they offer to potential copywriters...Performing Arts it is! For now. :)

e) public-eating! Witnessed by Wesley, David Chin, Eelaine, Michelle Lim. Hahahaha. Although what I really should have done was make it memorable and smear carrot cake and "the fattening part" on Wesley's face. XD

f) replying my emails :) and coordinating everything in between. I have learnt what it means to be a coordinator: boss people around, nag them day to day to do stuff for you and make sure they do it. Oh, and take all the credit. Ahahahaha...XD. Just kidding. Being a leader takes a lot more than that. Just hope I'm doing it right.

The make or break point in a relationship.

Me, Michelle and Eelaine talking about relationships.

Wesley: TALKING ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS, AH? (immediately jumps onto the seat next to me)

Me: (scoots to the other side of the bench)

Wesley: So, what's the make or break point?

David: (immediately sits on my other side) SO...?

Me: (scoots back to Wesley)

Five minutes later.

Me: You want carrot cake (from Pn. Carrol)? Carrot cake? Carrot cake? Fine, I'll eat it.

Wesley: Yes, just eat it, and we'll all watch you.

Me: Why?

Wesley: Because it's public eating, just like public speaking.

David: (keeps cracking jokes)

Me: (keeps almost choking)

"God loves you and...I love you too."

I love me three! And I love you too. :)

And I mean it.

I love you too. :)

Jesus loves you, and I love you too!

"Oh, I love you too."

Awhs...I love you three!

Yes, you were super emotionally touching. :)

And you always will be.

"I like you."

"Okay."

"So what's your response?"

"Okay - that's my response."

"NOO...you're supposed to say 'Hi...Okay, bye"! That's what Wesley said in his oral presentation!"

Like I listen to Wesley's advice. Hahaha.

Highlight #2 of last week. (to be cont'd)

I'm having doubts.
About nearly everyone.
I say nearly because if I said all, she'd fire me.
As in gunfire sort of fire, not pack-your-stuff-and-leave sort of fire.
Of course I don't have doubts about the people I'm accountable for.
Duh, I'm accountable for them.
"Samantha, if we find anything wrong with those three people, we are going to hunt you down!"
*shudders*
I'm too small for this.

Thursday night, Aunty Pat's house at 10.30pm.

Kathlyn: Where's Father?? Need to go home lah...college tomorrow at eight!

Aaron: At least my work only starts at eleven-something.

Kathlyn: Good for you.

Me: Hey, I have school, okay.

Aaron: Ahahaha...wait, you're still in school?? How old are you again?

Me: (affronted) Sixteen!

Aaron: Are you sure?! I don't remember you being so young...damn small weih!

Me: =.="

Ended up leaving Aunty's place at 11pm. *yawns* Aunty and Father still arguing.

But it was worth it. :) And then of course, was the name-list-writing part. I like that part. :) Because obviously, Sammie and her perfect handwriting wrote the list, and Sammie and her perfect hand-drawn strikeouts cancelled all ridiculous nicknames like "Ice-cream Man's Son" and "Nice Teeth Boy" from the list.
And then there was the Facebook-ing part. =P We tried Facebook-ing over 50 people that night (oh, what stalkers we are) and, surprise surprise, found them all. And with their names perfectly spelt out according to their ICs. If you still think you'll never get Facebook, well face it, Mr-I'll-Never-Get-Facebook got Facebook that night. Thanks to a college assignment, but still.

Aaron LXT: OH. MY. GOSH. Guess who just got a Facebook account?!?! And about time too!

Aaron, Kath, Me: Who?

Aaron LXT: LIM KHAI SHING!

Aunty: ARE YOU SERIOUS?! (leaps out of her chair and runs to dining area from kitchen) Oh my goodness!

And then...there came the hard part.

I don't know if anyone else felt it, but I did. Or do now, at least.
What we did determined the future of more than a dozen young people.
Because when the same thing happened two years ago, I was the one they were staring at on the computer screen. And because of their decision that one, fateful night, my whole life took the biggest turning point it has ever, and perhaps will ever, take.
That one decision. Though I may have just been another fleeting face that garnered either general agreements or "Who the heck is she?"s, that simple tick by my name was what made me the one sitting there just a week ago thinking, "These are the people who, two years from now, are going to be sitting in my position, doing this." And they had absolutely no idea.
Do you know how many things had to go exactly the way they went just so I could be where I am today? No? Well, let me tell you: a lot. It's this specific series of doors that you have to open at specific times and in specific sitiuations. And they, those people behind the computer screens and with those name lists, they are the ones who hold the just a few of those keys to a few of those different doors. Did they know it then?
Well, I'm one of them now. And I didn't know it. Until now.
I'm sixteen, and I'm doing this. These people are sixteen and they haven't got a clue how tough it is figuring out whether they are the right people to carry out this mission for God.
What we are doing could change somebody's life completely.
And at the end of the day, are people who are called and chosen, and there are people who are not.
When you're the one doing the calling and choosing, it's not hard to stay awake at night wondering whether you made the right decisions and whether or not you're really doing what God is trying to tell you to do. It's scary, to imagine that you've made a mistake. That maybe someone that belonged on the list wasn't there because of your wrong discernment. That maybe someone else didn't belong there but you were just too biased to strike them out.
It scares me. A lot.
To think that I'm supposed to be "capable" of these kind of things now. To think that I'm in the exact position of the people I used to admire so fervently.
Why? Because of them.
And now I'm one of them.
I guess it's just personal to me. Based on experience. Two years ago, I would have worshipped (figuratively speaking; I wouldn't literally worship) the ground future-me walked on. Now I realize how thin the tightrope present-future-me walks on. I don't evny anyone anymore. Because the people I used to look up to I now am, and I've come to realize it's a big responsibility being theat person.

We'll just have to live with it, I guess. We'll survive. :)
With homemade lemon and apple tarts and tuna on Ritz crackers. XD Yum yum.
Going to Aunty Pat's house at night is like inviting another kilogram to your stomach. :)

And thus concludes the second episode of my weekend. Two more coming soon. :)

Highlight #1 of weekend. (to be cont'd)

(Friday night. Sam happily stressfully running back and forth from mass practice to worship practice to mime practice. Finally makes it to mime practice. Runs into room. Attempts to close door. Edge of the door grazes against the side of her right foot. [Yes, I left my own foot in the way of the door, okay. XP And now you laugh, shake your heads and go, "Haiyo, only Sam lah".] Felt foot stinging. A lot.)
Kevin: Owww-chhhhh....Sam, you okay?
Sam: Yeah, (winces) fine. (hobbles over to chair)
Lyn: Sam! What's wrong?
Sam: Grazed my foot on the edge of the door. (winces, looks down at foot and sees a little skin peeling off) Skin peeling off only, I'll be fine.
Jac: Sam, are you okay?
Sam: Yeah, nothing one lah -
Lyn: Er...I really think we should get that cleaned up!
Sam: (looks at foot again to see it covered in blood that oozes out as they speak) OH. Whoa. Okay.
(Lyn and Jac half carry Sam to bathroom. Sam climbs on counter and puts her foot in the sink. Lyn turns on tap and washes away blood.)
Lyn: You're going to have a terrible blue black on this.
Sam: I know...I can already see the blueness under my skin.
Lyn: You cut it so close to your veins! I can already see the outline of it!
Jac: Oh my goodness, Sam! Imagine what would have happened if it hit your vein!
Sam: O.O...would I have died??
Jac: Sam, (rolls eyes exasperatedly) you are not going to die.
(Wound is cleaned, tap turned off.)
Lyn: Roeshan! Did you get the first aid kit? Can you like pass come in and pass us stuff?
Roeshan: But - but - It's a girl's bathroom!
Jac: Just come in for a while lah; it's an emergency!
Roeshan: Where can?!
Sam: Roeshan, I am bleeding here! So what if it's a girl's bathroom, do you know the number of guys who've been in here before?! (Looks at red stuff leaking out of her foot.) See it's bleeding again!
Jac: Put it back under the tap. Roeshan!
Lyn: Er...there's someone else here.
(Aunty-someone walks out of the bathroom.)
Jac and Sam: O.O
(Aunty walks out after asking about Sam's wound. Lyn, Jac and Roeshan come in with first aid kit. Lyn cleans up wound and prepares to put on antiseptic)
Lyn: Okay Sam, this might kinda hurt...
Jac: Here, hold my hand. You can cry if you want to.
(Lyn puts on antiseptic. Sam doesn't really feel anything. Okay. Lyn, Jac, Roeshan and Sam exit bathroom.)
Lyn: How're you going to get back to the room?
Jac: Aiya, Roeshan, just carry her lah.
Sam: Omigosh, no, no, NO!
Jac: Sam, you are not walking in this condition! Roeshan, just carry her back!
Sam: NO!

You can imagine how that turned out. Considering nobody ever listens to an injured girl who insists she is still capable of walking. =.="
But anyway.

It was and still would be cool to watch blood oozing out of your foot. XD

It was and still would be cool to see your wound being dressed. XD

It was and still would be cool to be forced to wear slippers to school. XD

It was and still would be cool to use your inability to walk as an excuse for being late for Chemistry. XD

(Monday morning. Sam limps to office to have En. Allen sign her permission-to-wear-slippers-to-school letters. En. Allen reads letter.)
En. Allen: What happened to your foot?
Sam: Oh, I grazed it against the side of the door while I was closing it.
En. Allen: Haiyo, why so clumsy...what were you doing? Looking at boys is it?
Sam: No lah teacher!
(En. Allen shakes head and signs letters before passing them back to Sam.)
Sam: Thanks teacher.
En. Allen: Okay, go back to class ah. And remember - don't look at boys so much!

Hey. =.=" I do not.

And thus concludes the first highlight of my weekend. Three more coming soon. :)

freedom. [in the name of Jesus/has a price/set me -]

Writing.
There is a very clear line between passion and chores, and the BM drama script and class noticeboard, unfortunately, fall under the second catergory.
Don't worry. The interclass debate does not, although the public speaking thing is sitting on the fence at the moment. If I were to find the time and resources to edit the drama script, it wouldn't be a chore either.
Sometimes I wish people would stop regarding me as the scriptwriter. I mean, the excuse of not having any scriptwriting experience is pretty lame for not wanting to write a script.
It's okay. I don't mind writing a hundred and one scripts under JYM.
Under JYM. Anywhere else, no. Maybe for the drama team.
Well, there are just things that are only worth doing if you have the enthusiasm for it.
Then there are just things you could only ever write and present in one ministry.
Like "Cockroach". Classic. :)
My class just does not spark that kind of motivation.
I know. I seem so irresponsible. In fact, I am. Please think of me that way. Never give me another script to write or responsibility to see through again. You will be disappointed if you do.
It's nice when you have friends who are so pumped over things you wouldn't get pumped over if it weren't for them. Like the interclass debate. Thank you, Meredith. Somehow, seeing you get so excited for it makes me get so excited for it, which is probably making Emily excited for it, which means it's probably going to be a very exciting Friday morning.
Of all times. Friday morning. In our sleep-induced class.
Well, I won't spoil it for you, reader. You'll just have to wait and watch us. And pay attention; really.

Writing.
There are just so many projects I wish I had the time to embark on.
But no, I'm supposed to be dedicating my time to studying for my mid-year exams, which, I would like to announce, start on the first day of First Training Camp.
What a coincidence. :)
I remember the last time something like this happened: I spent three days smack in the middle of Form 2's end-year exams worrying that I failed my BM paper. And not being able to study because we were too busy popping balloons in the middle of the night. Well, until Joshua, Aaron W., Alan and Patrick decided to lock us outside the girl's dorm for all the trouble we were causing ourselves.
Hahahahaha, ROFL! Those were the days.
I can't wait for the Lower 6 intake already. Even though it means being poked, yelled at and bullied everyday. That's what friends are for, right? Hahahaha. Yes, that's what friends are for when they are not telling you to chill and reminding you that you have enough experience not to shit bricks during public performances.

Squishldy-wigdelly. This Friday. Ahahaha. X)

from the balcony to the LDP.

Back. And ready to roll; drama practice, CF Easter sketch, whole CF Easter event, debate auditions, public speaking preperations, JYM Easter Party mime, worship songlist, worship practice, class photoshoot.
I'm pumped, are you pumped?!

Okay, fine. I'm not. I haven't recovered. Yet.
I can walk without limping now, and I'm not coughing as much as I did on Saturday evening. The fever's gone down quite a lot and I've reduced my Pandol intake to four a day. The nauseousness is wearing off as well.
And I've been stretching my vocal range to sing as many songs as I can on two octaves. :)
But I still have this strange feeling of hallucination, like I'm walking on a floor of fluffy clouds, or like my head is being supported by a cotton-candy-filled head rest, or like my fingers are pressing into jelly instead of alphabetical keys. It's just weird.

But I suppose it's understandable judging from the amount of medicine I'm consuming. I mean, seven Panadols a day isn't very little. Don't worry, the doctor put a stop to that. But then he also gave me three other types of medication, including the much-dreaded huge-giant-obese-mutated-X-men-version-of-a-cockroach-sized antibiotic pills. *shudders.*

When I was a little girl, I still remember getting bottles full of funny-tasting pink "Aunty Biotic" medicine. Then, as I grew older, the doctors started giving me bottles of white instead of pink, even though they still refered to it as "Aunty Biotic". When I turned eight, I was presented with a number of enormous pills they still called "Aunty Biotic". But by then I'd figured that "Aunty Biotic" was really just a funky name that my parents had created to make my medication seem more interesting.
Either way, the pills don't get bigger than that.

Cockroaches. That's what they remind me of. Cockroach. We should so use that script again. X) Because a) I like it, b) I wrote it and c) oh, the memories it brings back! Hahahaha. Scripts. I feel like writing another five-minute, nonsensical one. :)

But no. Skipping two days of school = a lot of math homework. =.=" And missing the mock debate. And missing sketch practice.
Oh well. I have the rest of the week to get back on track.

Oh noes. Mass on Good Friday is at 4.30.
"Relax, I've got it all taken care of. :) The last thing you should do now is worry."
And then you come to me on Sunday morning running your fingers through your hair with that agitated look on your face saying "How now?!"
But I digress.

I want change. Obama? No. But change.
I've had it with all our depressing Friday nights where we stay on the phone until three in the morning even though we've seen each other hours earlier. I've had it with listening to an angonizing depressed nut complain about how useless he feels.
Was it any different, last Sunday? I'll be calling as soon as I can get through a sentence without coughing. ;)

My dad is spamming my inbox with hospitality ministry (a.k.a. church warden) emails. Cekap, weih. We should take a leaf out of his book. XD Just like he did with us when he set up a blog specially dedicated to the wardens of SIC.

Run baby, run.

short, like me. sweet?

This week was just so...dramatic.
Yeah. Well. Sammie Hammie shall not dwell on it because there are more important things to do, like writing the conclusion of my testimony or trying to understand my devotion material or packing for camp or drowning Chrishen's chicken scratch handwriting in my planner with a blob of Liquid Paper or catching up on sleep after staying up until 3a.m. on the phone this morning and then waking up at seven or revising Chemistry or finding my voice, which I've lost right before the most intense choir practice we'll be having so far.
No holdiays. Like they were ever around anyway.

the floodgates of heaven burst open and Your Love poured right through my soul.

AHAHAHAHA.

The results of my first Add. Math test were just ... .

AHAHAHAHA.

I don't care what you have to say. It just seemed incredible to me considering my Mod. Math score.

AHAHAHAHA.

I feel like such a bad girl.

Even though this is nothing.

I mean, skipping classes all the time. Sleeping in class. Finishing homework in class.

At least I'm not doing anything illegal, right?

Tsk tsk, Sam.

Today, I was writing a script during Mod. Math (because my Pn. Azmah has a very lullaby-like quality to her voice and I didn't want to be under her influence). Just as I was getting absorbed into it...

Pn. Azmah: Samantha? Is Samantha here?

And obviously I freaked out and thought she'd realized I was totally not into the lesson.

Thank you, Seng Yew. This is the second time this week you've saved me from an utterly sleep-inducing lesson. (And you actually thought of getting permission this time around. XD)

Hint: I have Physics on Friday. ;)

The woes of owning a handphone.

You see, the problem with my poor phone is that it is OLD.

OLD = LACKING UPDATED FUNCTIONS.

Like memory space for text messages.

Which is why after every three days I have to clean my inbox, seeing as how it only has a capabilty of 70 messages.

No, I'm not an SMS-aholic.

I just need to announce and follow-up to far too many people.

So if I don't reply your message, I'm either a) lacking the capacity to read it, or b) out of RM0.10 and free SMSes.

He was right.

OH, THANK YOU, DEAR GOD.

He was so right.

Nothing ever, ever goes down the drain when you decide to leave everything and follow God.

Worship does not guarantee happiness. It does not guarantee physical, mental or emotional energy. It does not guarantee a smooth, easy life.

Worship is what you give all of that up for because you know that it doesn't matter - nothing else matters - when it comes to God. It's just...just...INSANELY AWESOME, AWESOME, AWEOSME!!!

That's the only way I can describe it because it'd probably take up a 500-essay to describe how powerful and incredible worship is.

Especially when you make it a lifestyle. When you live and breathe it.

For the record, this does not count being a nutcase like me and going for two worship practices for two separate teams per day. Not including JYM.

Though I'm still singing with my throat. =.="

JESUS. I am so madly in love with You I don't have the time to be madly in love with anyone else. :)