You Should Know

I don't go out. I don't spend my free time hanging around malls and stuff. I sit at home and laze around with my dog and my baby and tumblr all day. That is what I do. I am incredibly boring.

I don't feel awkward. I am awkward. I don't mind being left out of conversations I don't understand. If you want to talk to me, talk to me. If you don't want to talk to me, don't. I'm not that fussed, to be honest. I am that antisocial and that much of a loner. Hence I don't really care.

I laugh at everything. It doesn't mean I find anything funny. I just have to laugh to get it out of my system.

I am surprised society is not ostracizing me from their midst. But then, we are not living in the open-rejection of the Victorian era. We are living in the 21st century, were alienation is done with fake smiles and behind backs. I honestly wonder which is worse.

I don't know how to be nice. I am selfish, and also a little scared. I don't want to deal with losing my friends. I don't want to deal with the possibility. I'd rather stay away from people than to befriend them and realize their ulterior motives. I'm not saying they're bad. I'm saying I'm a self-centered brat who doesn't know how to share and trust.

I will not, of course, beg you to bear with me. I realize that you would only do so at your own risk.

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