Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Deeeeep down in my heart. :) It's Back.

Blogging through Windows Live Writer is so much more…appetizing than blogging through Blogger. They even customize my characters the way Microsoft Word would do it. :) Try it.
For once this year I feel purposeful. :) It's a good feeling.
Even if yes, I am still going to sit there confused between two lost souls who are just as confused as I am. X)
We are a lost cause, a beautiful letdown, an eyebrow-raising, forehead-knitting, sesat generation.
But it's still a good feeling. :)
Though in a way, I think I hate myself. If only for belittling my intuition.
Because oh, did Sam ever know there was an issue what, three months ago? And what did she do about it? Nothing. Well, she did try telling people about it. Though they were mostly people who went "Huh? Can you like, explain more?" And of the few people who knew and understood my plight, one was missing for three months. And another said, "Just go with the flow."
Go with the flow my foot! See if I ever listen to you again. =.="
But ah, the rest of the world caught up in the end.
If only I'd done something to catalyse that. =.=" But oh no, Sam's just a little kid and has no insight to see that far.
Why must my mind be so pessimistic? Wait, technically, it was optimistic because it refused to believe there was a problem even though my gut was screaming "This is WRONG, you fool, WRONG!"
But I have learnt that my puny little brain is a terrible excuse for making stupid decisions. Which is why I'm not going to trust it anymore and stick to whatever I feel deeper down. I bet it's just filled with air, which is why it's higher up than my gut, which weighs me down with more substance. That's probably why nothing good ever comes out of air-headed thinking so much. Good is only going to come out of jumping into weighted intuition and not-so-common sense.
Oh, that makes so much sense now. :)
For most people it may seem irrational, but to me, my heart should be trusted more than my head. Or my stomach instead of my heart, since that's closer to "gut feeling" than anything else.
'Tis the season to be…
…catching up with people I thought I'd lost for my life. The people I'd once treasured the most and held dearest to me. And though I've been thinking that that was the end of them, it isn't. I guess the people who were really meant to be in your life will be, no matter how far they are away from you. :) No matter how much you think it's over, you'll never have another meaningful conversation with them again (or a shallow though memorable one even), you will still go back to how it used to be in the old days, except now you don't see each other as often.
Some kinds of bonds do not break. Some kinds of bonds allow you to scream at each other in a crowd of your friends and her friends who don't know each other at an alien high school because you love each other that much. Some kinds of bonds cause you not to mind staying on the corner of a block of shops for half an hour talking to someone you haven't really spoken to for eight months just to keep him company because his parents are late. Some kinds of bonds make you turn to a midnight conversation in desperation to someone you thought would never be the same again and isn't, but that's what makes us all special. Some kinds of bonds let you "baa" and "meh" and still be loved and "baa"-ed and "meh"-ed back at.
Some kinds of bonds will reunite us one day, at the end of goodness knows how many years (but I hope it's at the end of this year).Small farts. X)  Look at our young faces.
I think five years down the road, I'm still gonna be talking about 08. :)

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One of these days lah. One of these days.
I'm finally going out with Jupiter again. ;) This Sunday.

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